Before Real Madrid makes a 1256 million move for to buy every single promising footballer from Sao Paulo, I think I'll let it rip on what is the most ridiculous transfer window I've ever seen in my life.


Kaka's departure from Milan shocked me like a taser to the nuts. It's like Johnny Depp declaring, "I ain't gonna be Captain Jack Sparrow anymore". Because only somebody of Depp's talent can cover up for the travesty that is fucking Orlando Bloom, but that's besides the point. Kaka wasn't just the symbol of Milan, he was the symbol of Italian football.


This is a bleak period for Italian football, when Juventus against Fulham is no longer as clear cut as Optimus Prime against a vending machine, and a league where Jean Alain-Boumsong can actually hold down a first team place. But it is Kaka, and till last summer Pato, who gives them a glimmer of hope that they can one day regain their status as the most beautiful league in the world.

But what I cannot stand the most is not that this move started skyrocketing all the prices of mediocre footballers the world. It is not that once again Real Madrid get their man despite being as competent as Middlesborough for long periods in the season. Rather, it is the fact that Milan continue to blind the world that Kaka left for financial reasons.

Milan's presiyoudent is the fucking Prime Minister of Italy. A simple wikipedia search gives  this:

"Silvio Berlusconi (help·info) (born 29 September 1936) is an Italian politician, entrepreneur, real estate and insurance tycoon, bank and media proprietor and sports team owner. He is the second longest-serving Prime Minister of the Italian Republic (President of the Council of Ministers of Italy), a position he has held on three separate occasions: from 1994 to 1995, from 2001 to 2006 and currently since 2008.^[1] He is the leader of the People of Freedom political movement, a centre-right party he founded in 2009, merging Forza Italia, his own party, with Alleanza Nazionale of Gianfranco Fini. His party's victory in the 2008 general elections paved the way for a third mandate in office. As of January 2009, he is the senior G8 leader, the longest-serving current leader of a G8 country."

To some, this means he is an extremely capable leader. To others it means he is very popular with the Italian public. But to me? It means he is so rich he can milk you. And if you tell me someone like him cannot bankroll Milan out of a financial crisis, but a 56 million pound cheque from Real Madrid can, then fuck me. Temasek holdings can probably buy Italy and use it as a quarantine resort.


To me it is as obvious as a penis on someone's face that either a) Kaka really wants to leave or b) Milan just can't wait to fucking cash in on someone they bought for 8 million euros. I think it's clear as hell what the answer is. And this obscene lie is just so Italian fans wouldn't do what they do best and fucking flare and burn down San Siro. But most importantly it gives a 42 year old man a reason to pacify his crying 8 year old son who just bought a Kaka replica jersey for the new season.

Just when I thought this couldn't be topped, Ronaldo, the cocky motherfucker who I'll not see play anymore, decides to sign for Real Madrid. He says it's because he's won everything with United. That is probably the most ridiculous excuse man has ever seen since Michael Jackson said he turned white cos he was "growing up".

Donald Trump didn't stop working even though he was fuck rich. Michael Jordan continued to defy gravity and led Chicago Bulls to title after title, creating such a record that even until now, almost 10 years since he's first retired(i'm gonna discount the Wizards bullshit), when you pass by a basketball court you can hear kids scream "It's Michael Jordaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan" before doing a fanciful layup. Tiger Woods has made golf such a 1 man sport with his achievements but he is still at it, 5000 swings a day, trying to better himself.


Cristiano Ronaldo is a 24 year old faggot who thinks that 3 EPL titles and 1 Champions League medal is everything. Fuck me. A champion is someone who creates a legacy, not a one-hit wonder. Steau Bucharest won the Champions League once too, so how the fuck is he different from anyone of them? The way Man Utd were ridiculously outplayed by Barcelona last year should serve as motivation to improve, but to homboy, it is a signal to jump ship.

Real Madrid lost out on the Spanish League to Barcelona last season. They were humiliated by Liverpool in Europe, and they lack the one thing that all successful clubs need, stability. How anyone can think that that Real is better than Man Utd in any aspect is really beyond me.

Benzema, Albiol, Kaka, and now Ronaldo has joined this circus. Ribery and Villa are clamouring for it. It seems to me as if the whole of Europe is waiting for Madrid to finish this insane spree before starting to make any move.

In time to come, we'll see if this "project" will bear any fruits.

Quite how soccer has descended to this state is really beyond me.

PEACE.