Now this could only mean A) He's gay. B) He's a girl or C) He's behaving like an overjoyed 5566 fan who just caught the latest episode of MVPfuckshit. Despite the probability of all 3 being equal I'll go with C. What happened to "Keegan's a great people person and is very nice to work with"? What's with the semi-homo extreme wtfpwntable line? I don't think you can get something as cheesy as that even if you combine Lance Bass and Darren Hayes. If I get to dine with Fabregas trust me I'll come up with something worse. But this is John Burridge who has fucking played at 26 English and Scottish clubs so the fact that he's talking like a groupie in a post-Oscars party makes me want to karatechop his grandma. Professionalism, anyone?

And just when you thought the revolting headline is bad enough, Big John goes one further by saying Keegan doesn't know how to coach defend. Then he brings up his experiences in Newcastle to "back it up". At this point in time I don't know whether to throw the paper away or leave it in case the toilet paper in my office runs out due to my daily defecating habits. It's like Jimmy Neutron telling Neo that he's the REAL one. COME FUCKING ON.

Excluding the fact that that was a fucking DECADE ago, and excluding the fact that Keegan has gone on to manage England and then Newcastle in his career, I cannot overlook the fact that dear Budgie is currently coaching goalkeepers in U.A.E, who're probably lower in international rankings than Singapore(who cares?!). Give me a break. Telling me Keegan hasn't learned the art of defense in the last 10 years is as believable as saying Lindsay Lohan has not had a drink in the past 24 hours. If Tom Cruise can defeat the best Samurai just by living with them in their village for a few months(and fucking the poor Asian's wife in the process), unless he's a cow suffering from bladder cancer it's safe to say his coacing defending attribute is at least 15/20, FM style.

Nevertheless I find myself paying 70cents during lunchtime everyday. I really don't know why. I don't read anything the locals write because I feel I write better and know more than them, and I get irritated by the abovementioned writer most of the time. Maybe it's because I like Iain Macintosh's articles, but most probably because I need to check the times of Arsenal matches and the odds.

Since we're on to the topic of football......

Playmakers are normally players who dictate the pace and tempo of a game, organizing attacks for their teams and acting as the director in a sense. In the mordern game, outstanding playmakers include Fabregas of Arsenal, Xavi of Barcelona, Paul Scholes of Man United, bla bla bla......


BUT you know who's not a playmaker? The fucking couple in front of you who stand together refusing to budge, causing everyone behind them to slow down and thereby dictating the pace of many people's lives. Fuck. They're everywhere. Train stations, bus terminals, either in the form of the 2 St Nic girls hogging the whole lane discussing Justin Timberlake's dick on your way to school or that bunch of Sec 2 boys talking about Dragon Knight's ultimate and many more. I don't normally take trains, but I do know enough about the "keep to your left" rule. I missed my train thanks to 2 lovebirds in front of who so difficultly separated only when I say "Excuse me" TWICE. And then to add insult to injury, the moment my train left theirs arrived and they happily took off. Add that to the boredom and frustration of a day's work. Woohoo.

Please show some awareness. I understand that as young people our hormones are raging, but if you get a boner from talking to your partner in a busy train station something is fucking wrong so please keep out of the way and let normal people like me lead normal-paced lives. PLEASE.

Anyways this article makes me look like a fucking genius if the EPL ends now. And reaffirms my above stated beliefs.