WOOHOO I LOVE JO

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This really wasn't the script I had in mind.

Sometimes when I look back, of course I wish I had dealt with things better.

Of course I wish I had more time.

Of course I wish things could turn out better.

But this isn't a one man epic.

I need my supporting actors, yet when the time really called for it, they couldn't step up.

They just couldn't. And it hurts.

But, for all you know, maybe this is just how things will turn out, eventually.

For better or for worse, nobody knows.

But this is my life. I chose it. And I'm not regretting it one single bit.

I'm moving on, with Her.

And that's just the way it's gonna be.

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When I started watching soccer, Bergkamp was at the peak of his powers. It was a pity the faggoty me back then only looked out for goals and not assists. Looking back, this man is really a one of a kind genius.

Anyways, had mutton soup at Geylang with the Yaps. The goat's tongue is enough to make your testicles jump twice. Imbaaaaa. Realised that I always eat these exotic stuff with the Yaps. I wonder when we'll have a proboscous monkey's nose or a striped hyena's calf muscle.

Today's the 14 month-sary of me and JO. HAHA. Lame people celebrate months. Cool people eat Kambing soup and go OCS to return number 2 on their month-sarys. I'm cool.

Okay tomorrow's my first driving lesson. I know, I know, I'm slow. Suck my tits.

Oh and I strongly encourgae people to watch the latest Russell Peter's shit. Red, White and Brown. It makes you laugh more than watching an entire season of Two and a Half Men while tickling your toes with the latest OSIM foot massage thingy.

Now that I'm 8 to 5ish once more, I see more people, and the bitch in me is raging once more. I sense more entries. HAHA.

Okay time to dine. Arsenal's kicking ass now, I'm eating rather good food for now, I'm on a 46 game unbeaten streak in FM 2009 now, I will tip the next beggar I see 50 baht. Woohoo.

TATA.

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Wanted to slip this at the end of the last entry, but decided it was worth one entry alone.

5th Feb 2009 marks 1 year of the happiest time of my life thus far. 1 year of unbrindled joy, pleasant surprises, and undying and unconditional love.

SYJO.

1 year and counting.

I LOVE YOU BABY! :)

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And so, the see them once a year time has arrived! HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR to whoever still visits this undermanned blog.

As you may have guessed, the only impetus I have to blog is when I come across something that arouses the bitchy side in me, and considering how little time I have left for myself due to NS you can probably guess how, for lack of a better word, disturbed I was when I read this article by someone called Solomon in the New Paper.

I've written an article on names from hell, I've attended the wedding of someone called Lancelot, so pardon the lack of insults towards the aforementioned person, but trust me when I say his articles contains enough vermin to kill the entire Golden Army from Hellboy 2, which is about as bad as a movie can fucking get.

See I can understand why some people dread Chinese New Year, like being afraid of wearing the same dress as someone else, or having to deal with the ice-breaking phase that's inevitable considering you only meet your grandma's cousin's aunt's pet dog's neighbor's daughter's fortune teller once a year, but to dread CNY because of giving Red Packets?! Seriously? That's like not wanting to win the World Cup because you're afraid it's too heavy. COME ON.

Kids will be kids. If you expect them to have the maturity of Guan Yu(redcliff2 owns btw) or the fucking wisdom of every Morgan Freeman character then you probably think Paris Hilton is a nun. So when they ask for more angbao money don't give the oh-you-just-came-on-my-face look. If this happens every week like Eboue fucking up for Arsenal then okay, but it's an annual thingy! It's Chinese New Year, for GuanYinMa's sake. Do humanity a favour, go withdraw some spanking new notes and, most importantly, let it rip.

But dear columnist here brings it one step further by saying he didn't have enough "ammunition", i.e., his own kids, to counter his losses. Firstly, I don't know about you guys but I'll be quite disappointed if my dad puts me on level ground as a 5.56 round. Like seriously. I'd rather be first guy that got fucked by Ip Man when he challenged those 10 guys than be a fucking bullet. Give me a fucking break.

I thought Singaporeans have left the Kiasu era behind them but obviously this guy is so miserly he probably lives on food the last Apatosaurus left behind, and collects those paper flipflops from hotels, probably from his last visit to Zimbwabe, where everyone's middlename is inflation. No?

I'm incredibly easy-going, but I'd rather watch Emmanuel Eboue juggle a football for 1hour giving different expressions every 5mins than read articles like these.

PEACE.

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ARSHAVIN'S COMING TO ARSENAL!!!

AND HE'S GONNA BE NUMBER 13. WOOPEEDOO.

Haven't been this excited about Arsenal for a long while. And yes Eboue and Alex Song, I'm looking at you 2 hippies.

 

[edit]

Alright, so he's wearing number 23, but ohwells. Sooooo excited about Arshavin playing. When he's match fit, Eduardo and Walcott come back, Rosicky miraculously recovers, then Eboue will fuck back to Ivory Coast to be a sugercane farmer, while Toure rediscovers his talents as a comedian and subsequently joins Saturday Night Live, and Alex Song discovers that he's first touch is as good as Michael Jackson is with baby boys and improves, Arsenal will win the league, then MOE sends me a fax telling me they mixed up my results and I actually got 3As, I get into NUS biz to join Jo. WOOHOO.

And then pingyee jumps on me and wakes me up from my sleep, then I realise everything after the MOE part was just a dream. Yes the Ivorians can still fuck back.

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I walked 30+km in 9 days and climbed 2 mountains in FBO.

I fell down and knocked my head against a rock.

I got bitten by this and it was FUCKING PAINFUL.

I survived 9 days on 2 days food.

I was pushed beyond my limits, and at last, I passed JCC!

But most importantly..................

I realized how much I love Jo.

19 days without my wife. It was hell, it was terrible, but it really showed me who mattered most to me.

DEAR I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!! suck on it.

JO GOT ME FOOTBALL MANAGER 2009 FOR CHRISTMAS OMFG KNNBCCB ZOMG ROFLCOPTER OWNAGE!!!! It was friggggggiiiiinnnnn imbaaaa. The best Christmas gift I've ever recieved, by a fucking mile. It totally hit the spot. Now I've just gotta find a system good enough to support the game in my house. LOL. But seriously, FM09. It is time for Siang Loves Jo to own the world with Arsenal once more. And no, he will not be sacked this time. I told Jo she can just get me FM every year so she wouldn't have to worry about my Christmas present, but then again, maybe not. That's wayyyyy too easy. Hor dear?

Me playing FM09 on my laptop, Jo watching Heroes/FamilyGuy/Lipstick Jungle/that show with Kelly Hu next to me. PARADISE. Hahahahaha.

Keeeeeeding la dear.

Or am I?

Roger and out.

Oh wait a minute.

I love my wife.

Over and Out.

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In truth, the season thus far for Arsenal has been nothing short of painful. After rummaging through my limited vocabulary that's still the word that hits the spot. Sure we beat Man Yoo, but defeats to Fulham, Hull, Stoke and now Villa really makes me feel like someone tazered my testicles then fed them to white tigers.

The main problem lies in the way we play. The reason why we can beat United is simply because they choose to attack us. That leaves space behind for our quick players(meaning everyone except Denilson) to exploit on the counter attack. When you come up against lesser teams who defend with all 11 players plus their noisy fan on the terrace when the referee isn't looking, even if you can hold on to endless amount of possession nothing's gonna come out of it. For all of Fabregas' and Nasri's creativity there's only so much they can do against the a bunch of uneducated football thugs. Sorry I meant Stoke City's defence.

Style of play aside, to say our defence has been as generous as Sharity Elephant is like saying Chris Rock is black. Gallas has been absolutely pathetic. I seriously feel like spearing him and his fucking tantrums. Wenger needs to spurlge on experience and quality this January and next summer, otherwise our top4 spot next year will be under some threat. That said, unlike the general population who has been saying since B.C. 100 that spurs/villa/everton/pompey/burnley(eh?) can kick us out, I'm confident no one can usurp our top4 spot this season.

On a side note, I hate it when I hear people criticise Arsenal's players. Maybe it's a football fan thing. I can take it when Arsenal fans rant about how Eboue can go shag a goat but when someone else says Adebayor is shit they can eat my ass. Arsenal might be going through a rough patch now as a team, but individually their talent is undeniable. Fagregas can walk into any team in the world, Adebayor can join him, and the only manager who dare say he wouldn't mind playing Theo Walcott is Pep Guardiola becase he has Carles Puyol who is a fucking monster.

I hate Cristiano Ronaldo with a passion but I wouldn't hesitate to say he's world class. Drogba might have hair that can only be found on a gazelle's rectum but I would welcome him to Arsenal with both arms. Same goes for Torres, Gerrard, and many more. That said, some people don't really know soccer enough to recognize talent. People need to know there's a difference between playing one bad game, and Titus Bramble.

And lastly, I'm pretty glad we sold that motherfucker Hleb and got Nasri. Nasri can do all Hleb can do, plus he actually knows how to shoot, a concept that seems to be lost on Hleb. He's deceptively strong, fleet-footed, quick, intelligent, and aggressive, as seen when he tackled that ruffian Joey Barton. A very good purchase.

Anyway, I'm leaving for the Abode of Peace in a matter of hours. Spent my remaining past few days with Jo. Gosh we're really inseparable to da max. Am gonna miss her so much so much so much. I really can't bear to part with my loveeeeeeeeeeeee. Howwwwwwwww???

DEAR I LOVE YOU. WAIT FOR ME K!

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I've been writing non-stop about soccer ever since I started blogging, but I realised I've never stated my all time favourite XI. The time has come, for the world to know, Siang's all-time first eleven.

Goalkeeper: Petr Cech

When Chelsea paid 12million pounds for Cech, the whole world was left scratching their heads who this lanky nerd from Czech Republic was. 12 million pounds for a goalkeeper is like spending 800 bucks on an ez link card holder. It better be good. And true to that, the last thing Cech did was to disappoint.

For me, the reason why Jose Mourinho's first 2 seasons at Chelsea was so smooth-sailing was in no small part down to Cech. His reflexes mean he can doubleslap a Ninja Turtle 2 times and not be caught. He palms can cover China 2 times over, and if you factor in his 1.9< height, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out it's preeeeeeeeetty difficult to score against him. Yes his form has dipped, and he does have the help of John Terry in front of him, but this dude is insane, and is the only reason why I didn't pick Iker-spiderman who?-Casillas.

Left Back: Patrice Evra

Right Back: Sergio Ramos

Ramos is totally like Evra, just that he's white, he's bigger, and he doesn't look like Dwayne Wade. I like how he sometimes presses the red button and goes on a rampage like a fucking bucaneer hunting for the ball. Crazy bastard. And he plays for Spain, which is always a plus point.

Centre Back: Alessandro Nesta

If you know me you'll know the only centre back I've ever idolised was Nesta. Simply because when he was in Lazio he fucking gets a 9 rating all the time in Championship Manager while the whole team sucked and because of him I never beat them. And also because he's probably the dirtiest player in football history, but he hides it so well with his grace. He's also really fast. I mean, yea Cannavaro owned in World Cup 2006, John Terry's a real rock for Chelsea, but this dude can tackle a Rhinoceros on steroids and do a Head and Shoulders commercial right after that. That's how good he is. This picture epitomises what Alessandro Nesta is all about. As graceful as a swan, as dirty as Carvalho.

Centre Back: Paolo Maldini

The sheer fact that Maldini is still playing at 40, and captaining a side like Milan screams for his inclusion. Zidane and Ronaldo(the fat one) both said Maldini is the toughest defender they'd ever faced, so when a combined 6 times FIFA world players of the year say that, you either bazooka and flamethrower your grandma for not including him, or name him in your best XI ever.

Right Midfield: Cristiano Ronaldo

Yes this cocky motherfucker is really as good as everyone says he is. Everything that has been said about him has already been said. I'm not going to over-elaborate anymore. If you don't include someone who gallops like a gazelle with the ball, someone who can propel himself with his frigging stepovers, and someone who scores driven freekicks like his then, you're either a) Pele or b) a pork chop. As much as I hate to admit it, Ronaldo's probably the best player in the EPL right now. Fuck.

Left Midfield: Lionel Messi

If you can transfer how Legolas one-man-showed like 60 elephants in the war scene in LOTR into the football world, it would be like watching Lionel Messi play. I've seen him make Cannavaro, Roberto Carlos, and tons of legendary defenders look like Chen Weilian with a guitar. He has the perpetual ability to skin every single defence at least once per game, and then give the "oops i entered the ladies" grin, then proceed on to score or pass to Gudjohnsen to scoop over the bar. People talk about Ronaldo but honestly Messi's better. Am I ever wrong?

Centre Midfield: Roy Keane

He headbutted Materazzi, caused his team to lose the World Cup final, and people still say he's the best of his generation. Enough said. People don't realise how lucky we are to be able to watch this genius play. He can split defences as easily as typing "google.com". He makes everything look so easy, yet when you try out his skills on the court you either get bulldozed by that violent malay guy on the streetsoccer court or you succeed, against that fat chinese who actually thinks he can play.

Striker: Dennis Bergkamp

I've always said Bergkamp's my favourite Arsenal player of all time. If you look at all his goals you'll know why. He's so cool Iceman looks like a malnourished snowman next to him. He doesn't base his game on adrenalin or testosterone like most others, but more on his speed of thought and analytical skills, and that's why he's awesome. The wonder goal where he made Nikos Dabizas look like Osama Bin Laden without a turban will be shown for centuries. I'm not even gonna start on his goal against Argentina in the World Cup.

Srriker: Thierry Henry

In conclusion, my team rapes, and whoever disputes my choices should senang diri and clapclap "BRAVO".

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Okay, so service term will end in 2 weeks. Well, less than that. Then it's 21 weeks of pro-term, 3 weeks of joint term, and I'll be 2LT CHUA SIANG YEE! Okay fucking long way to go, I'm counting only pro-term since joint term only has rehearsals, rehearsals and more rehearsal, so it's 147 days. Let's go.

I've like 2/3 drafts about soccer/life I've still to complete. As much as I'm fuckinggggg busy I still want to blog because the bitchy side of me needs an outlet. Shall make sure these drafts get posted asap. I remembered coming across Boon Liang's blog a few months and how he said my blog was very funny, and the feeling was imbaaaaa because I don't really talk to him and I didn't know he reads ma blog. FEELS GOOD YO. Okay shall update reaaaaaaaaaaaal sooon. I wonder if anyone still comes here anyway.

Anyway Jo and I had this hugeeeeeeeeeeeeee fight last Saturday, but in the end love prevails and 10mins later we were lovey dovey again nerhs. Hahaha. I've never been this in love before, it's been 7months but I still feel the sugar rush when I see her, and the fact that every bookout she's always there for me waiting makes me wanna give her 100000 x hugs and kisses. I LOVE YOU JOCELYN YAP! :D

Okay, time to fall in for lunch, followed by map reading test, and then SOC, and HOPEFULLY, nights out.

BTW Arsenal really kicksass now I will suplex anyone who dares mention the Fulham game but seriously Van Persie when injury-free(which is 1% of the time) can score from the advertistment boards behind the goal I don't know how the fuck he bends the ball. Nasri looks a really good buy, Vela's like a level 1 Torres give him some time, and Eduardo will be back by Christmas loooooooooking good yo looking good yo.

Bottomline? Jo's the prettiest and best.

I LOVE JO.

and Arsenal rockssss!

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